During the time spent with Mr. Strafaci I found the why's I always searched for. From a young age I internalized many broken emotions and normalized distorted beliefs that handicapped me for years. Being a product of domestic violence and feeling powerless, helpless, and hopeless, I built a belief system of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and worthlessness and ultimately I began seeking validation with negative peers in school. I began expressing myself with aggression, vandalism, and later in any way that I'd get attention. I wanted my parents attention at any cost. I began to not care about consequences nor care about authority figures. I resorted to getting attention from my peers instead to fulfill my void. I believed their acceptance mattered most and having others attention made me feel validated. I became susceptible to weed and meth at age 12 due to peer pressure. I had an unhealthy need for acceptance. But why? I had been hurt, I built resentments and felt worthless at home. Many traumatic events and memories led to obsessive thoughts ideas and emotions led me to compulsive actions in criminality, and substance abuse. Ultimately, I joined a gang in search of acceptance in something greater than myself. But why? I now felt a constant fear of not being accepted by others. My low self-esteem would often reminder me of how unworthy I viewed myself. So I progressively turned that fear into aggression, violence and victimization. I sought instant gratification externally at any cost. I had built a belief system of destructive entitlement, machismo and I fed my low self worth through power and control. I had become manipulative, self centered, greedy, and extremely callous. This resulted in me taking a man's life. Today this is my truth. I take full responsibility for it. However I wouldn't of ever understood why I committed my crime or who I had become without Evans help."

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Juan Huezo, LWOP